Unemployment rocks!

So, this is my to-do list from today:

1. apply for and/or interview for a job
2. climb a mountain

I think this will be my new daily. I know what you're thinking. "Rob, how can any one man tackle such an ambitious, grueling juggernaut-of-a-schedule day after day?!?" Well, I am no ordinary man. (I'm sure anyone who knows me would agree with that statement, but for different reasons) So now my only worry is not to get eaten by a grizzly bear or fall off a mountain. Or worse, become employed!!

50 ways to leave your lover

So, I'm still in Fairbanks, Alaska. Yes we were supposed to take the train back to Anchorage today. But our manager here completely messed up our itinerary so we are stuck here all day. We are staying at the very lovely Best Value Inn, which is conveniently located among the gentlemen's clubs and adult video stores in the area. And Holland America isn't paying for our meals while we are here "training", so we're spending money we don't have. The past 5 days have been quite like a missions trip: never knowing what's next, being told to hurry up and then wait, having no idea where we are or how to get anywhere else.

The highlight for me was yesterday driving back from Chena Hot Springs after an awful day of a totally screwed up itinerary by our less-than-competent manager. She was driving and kept falling asleep at the wheel. For my coworker Vikki and I, it was the breaking point. We just started laughing. And I'm not talking about a quick little chuckle. I am talking about church giggles; where you attempt to keep quiet and your body is shaking with tears streaming down our faces. And just when one of us would compose ourselves, the other would snort or sniffle or do something to cause the other person to lose it all over again.

My brother's now infamous quote comes to mind, "It's only an adventure if you wish you were home in bed at least part of the time." This is officially an adventure and will provide me with stories for a lo-o-o-o-ong time. :-)

The "Rob, Vikki, and Joe" Tour?

Hello from Denali National Park and Preserve!

Well, well, well, where to begin...I reported to work in Anchorage yesterday at 6:30 AM along with my fellow TSRs (Train Sales Reps), a 60 year old Texan named Vikki and a 20 year old Connecticut guy named Joe. No one really knew what to do with us. So they stuck us on a train and said, "Someone will meet you in Denali." So we spent 8 hours riding on the train, soaking in the scenery, and basically doing nothing while our fellow employees busted their tails working and giving us the evil eye. And unbeknownst to us, we began what we have now dubbed the "Robert, Vikki, and Joe" tour. Because when we finally figure out where we're supposed to be we get there late, and someone in charge will say, "Are you Robert, Vikki, and Joe?"

Anyway, we arrive in Denali and surprise, no one is there to greet us. Luckily one of the tour guides lumped us in with his group and took us to the Chalet. There I managed to find a manager who seemed surprised by our arrival but quickly found us housing and whipped up an intinery for our stay in Denali. See, the whole point of our "training" is to experience the extra tour options so we can better sell them to the customers on the train.

So last night we rode ATVs with 3 Bulgarian guides who would say things like, "We are now at ree-ver. You stop and take peek-chores." The highlight was when my fellow TSR Joe, who had been talking about what an expert ATV driver he was and then proceeded to fishtail constantly kicking up clouds of dust through which the rest of us had to drive, tried to do a donut and lost control of his ATV. He was thrown off but jumped up and pretended to walk it off. It gets better. Joe's ATV kept moving and was about to go off a cliff. Until our Bulgarian guides, in an attempt to save the ATV, t-boned it at about 20 mph with their giant 6-wheeled ATV. They did manage to save the ATV from hurtling off a cliff. But they also smashed the hell out of it. I had to pretend to go take pictures of the view somewhere else because I was laughing so hard. After that we went on a horse drawn covered wagon tour into the woods and had a dinner of ribs, salmon, and steak.

Today we took a plane ride around Denali (a.k.a. Mount McKinley) which is the tallest mountain in North America at 20,230 feet-ish. We also got a tour of the Husky Homestead where they train dogs for the Iditarod. We then went on a jet boat tour up the Nenana River to an old gold panning camp and heard a lecture on trapping and then got to do some panning. I even got some gold. About four cents worth.

Man, I am so tired. But tomorrow we are going horse back riding before heading to Fairbanks to do a buttload of more tour stuff. And through all of this I've learned many things, but 2 that I'll share here:

1. Let's do some quick math. Rob + train + food = Rob + motion sickness - food. 'Nuf said.

2. I don't think I'm going to keep this job. I know, you're probably thinking I'm an idiot. But see, I drove up here without much communication about what my job would be like. And after being with people for 48 hours straingt and now I've seen that my job will be to ride a train for 14 hours a day selling tour packages, that is already driving me batty. And I'll do that six days a week. Again, with people for 14 hours a day for six days a week. Is there a job out there that sounds any LESS like me?

But I'm stuck on this "Robert, Vikki, and Joe" tour until Sunday. So I'm not going to quit until I get back to Anchorage. Otherwise they'll probably kick me off the train somewhere in the literal middle of nowhere!!

A "Dukes Of Hazzard" welcome to Alaska!

Well, I'm here. Six days of driving, over 4000 miles (including my little side trip to Jasper National Park), many visits to Tim Horton's, all sorts of wildlife sightings (including bear, mountain goat, elk, buffalo, moose) and lots of car karaoke I made it safely to Anchorage. The road trip out here was exhausting but amazing. And having no cell phone for the majority of the trip was surprisingly pleasant. It afforded me long stretches of quiet times of reflection and prayer. As well as time to work on my solo career. I won't quit my day job.

I did learn three things while driving through northern Canada:

First, I now have an appreciation for country music. Weird, I know. But there's something about being on the road for days and days that makes country music actually make sense.

Second, when they post a speed limit in northern Canada, they are just kidding. You can go as fast as you want.

Third, when they post a sign that reads "REDUCE SPEED! ROUGH ROAD AHEAD!", they are serious as a heart attack. I learned this one the hard way (after truly embracing lesson #2). See, up here the winters are so harsh that they reek havoc on the roads. The road will actually buckle, causing a depression followed by a giant speed bump. The distance in height between the two can actually be up to two feet. So imagine my surprise when I hit the first of many of these "rough road" sections at 85 mph. I know for certain that all four tires of my truck left terra firma for at least a 2 second period. It was exactly like the Dukes of Hazzard. Except for the fact that unlike Bo and Luke Duke, I was trying to take a sip from my Nalgene bottle and ended up taking a second bath. Also, unlike those crazy Duke boys, I was unaware of my impending jump and therefore yelled something entirely different than their trademark rebel "Yeeeee-ha!"

But I'm here and alive and my truck is intact. I'm staying with my friend Courtney's relatives. They are great people and have offered to let me house sit for them for the summer. Which is very generous and kind of them! And they have a beautiful house too.

I start my job training as a train sales rep on Monday. I don't know when I have to don my outfit of black pleated pants, white tuxedo shirt, and gold vest. But rest assured, I will take photos and post them as soon as I am able! I know everyone in the Admissions office at Asbury is greatly anticipating that!

Speaking of photos, I'm going to start uploading photos to my flickr site now so you should be able to click on the link to the right and check them out. Enjoy!

Drive to Alaska - Day 5, Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Greetings from White Horse, British Columbia. Drove 586 miles today. Stopped at Liard Mineral Hot Springs for a soak. As I was walking up the trail toward the springs I happened to look up and what was coming toward me on the trail but a bear! He was a little guy, probably about 2-300 pounds. I got a few photos of him before he saw me and took off into the woods. The Mineral Springs were pretty cool. But like any hot spring, there was a lot of sulfur. So I've had a sneaking suspicion all day that I smell like a big fart.

Later on while driving I saw two more bears, some more buffalo, a ton of elk, and another moose. Since its wide open country I've been able to drive VERY fast. At one point I was going 85 mph and drove through a flock of small birds. Unlike the Canadian Rockies all around me, that was NOT a pretty picture.

Hoping to hit the Alaska border tomorrow!! Woo hoo, cell phone coverage again!

What are the chances??

Oh ya, I forgot one more thing. So I was driving through the literal middle of nowhere in British Columbia today. And since there are no cops anywhere I was cruising along at top speed. And I came upon a car that had what else but a Miguel's sticker on the back. A MIGUEL'S STICKER!!! For those of you outside of the state of Kentucky, this means nothing. But Miguel's is a pizza/climbing shop nestled in the foothills of Eastern Kentucky's Red River Gorge. Its tiny and in the middle of the woods and has the best pizza on earth. And apparently Miguel's has international fame. Who knew?

The drive to Alaska - Day 3, wait, no its Day 4

Greetings from Fort Nelson, British Columbia.

Well, where to begin? I left Wilmore, KY on Saturday morning and drove 900 miles to Sauk City, Minnesota. I put a sign in my truck window that said "Alaska or bust!" and its been very entertaining to see people's reactions when they read it, as well as a great conversation starter at rest stops and gas stations. My favorite so far was just west of Chicago when this huge Lincoln Towncar came flying up next to me. I thought I was about to encounter some road rage but when I looked over, there was the sweetest little old lady waving and smiling and giving me a big thumbs up!

Sunday I drove 800 miles to Saskatoona, Saskatcheqan. The lady at the campground told me that there was a tornado there the night before. I made sure to REALLY stake my tent down that night. :-)

Monday I drove another bazillion miles to Jasper National Park in Alberta. Saw elk, buffalo, a moose, red tailed hawks, and loons (the bird, not persons of questionable psychiatric integrity). Took a ton of photos that I'll upload onto my flickr account soon.

In addition to the scenery and the great daily gift bags my Mom and niece Madison put together for me, its been so fun meeting all sorts of random, weird, and interesting people. When they hear that I'm driving to Alaska for the summer, they offer all sorts of encouragement and advice. But one tag line that keeps popping up is, "...might as well do it when you're young before you settle down." That strikes me as odd because the thing is, I'm not so young. Granted, thanks to genetics I look less than my 34 years of age. But if in 30 years I'm holding the same hand of cards so to speak: good health, a family that loves me, a truck with a load of outdoor gear in the back, and nothing more - but I've got a few more adventures under my belt, I've seen a bit more of the world, had my world view challenged and reshaped, and perhaps loved a few folks along the way - if that's where I'm at in 30 years without climbing even a single rung on the socioeconomic ladder then I will crack open a beer, kick back, and heave a deep sigh of contentment.

Venturing out...

Last night while waiting for my CB radio to be installed in my truck I was reading through the intro of Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts (which my buddy Brent so thoughtfully sent to me). It had some good stuff related to the adventure I'm about to embark upon:

"It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were...and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.
And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?"

And on that note, my friends, until you hear from me in Alaska, I say goodbye. Go venture out.

3956 miles? no worries!

Below you'll (hopefully) find a link that shows my route to Alaska. I'm figuring it will take about six days of driving 12 hours a day. But I'm ready! I've got 5293 songs on my ipod to keep me rocking out. And I just bought a CB radio to install in my truck, which ought to be interesting. And of course I'll probably be calling every person in my phone, twice. I think the conversations will go something like this, "Hey its Rob. I'm driving through Horse's Buttcheek, North Dakota and I'm bored. Tell me your whole life store. Start at age 2. Go!"

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&saddr=143+Lowry+Lane,+wilmore,+ky&daddr=7200+Huffman+Rd,+Anchorage,+AK+99516&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=51.222969,81.738281&ie=UTF8&ll=60.802064,-122.34375&spn=32.67146,81.738281&z=4&om=1

4 days and counting...

Ah crap. I've become one of THOSE people. One of those people who think their thoughts are impressive enough to post for the world to read. I'm doing this under the pretense of inviting people to follow me along my journey from Kentucky to Alaska to New York to Africa over the next six months. So this blog is more a venue to tell you about the lastest stupid potential-neck-breaking adventure I've survived. So if its deep philosophy or passionate politics you want to read, head somewhere else. But if you're sitting at your desk in your monochromatic little cubicle and need a glimmer of hope that someday you'll get outside and do some exploring, TA DA. Here you go:

So in 4 days I will be leaving Wilmore, KY (my home for the past 5 years) where I'm graduating from Asbury Theological Seminary with a Masters degree in Youth Ministry to drive 3956 miles to Anchorage, Alaska to work on a tourist train for the summer. I just bought a 97 Toyota Tacoma with big knobby tires and 4 wheel drive to get me there. My job as a train sales rep will be to sell extra tour packages to tourists on the train from Anchorage to Denali National Park to Fairbanks and back again. The best part of this whole adventure is that my brother Scott will be joining me in a month or so. Two Baird brothers and the wilderness of Alaska - God help us all.